Very Pregnant and Scared
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and just about to give birth. Me in my very pregnant state decided that I was scared of the pain and just didn’t want to have the baby, not like I wanted to abort it, but like I was out-of-my-mind-scared of the pain of childbirth.
Today I sent out the invites for a group to meet on campus and read the Bible aloud—together. I’ve been full of excuses for weeks. I’m scared to lead. I haven’t really led much of anything for about four years. I was still in high school. I broke my Facebook fast to invite 14 people, half of which I hope won’t show up because I don’t have seats for them.
I guess having a baby is kind of like starting a small group, or moving to Alaska for the summer to live and work with strangers. The pain in the process and the lack of experience scares me and I don’t know if people will show up or what it will be like or if they will stay. What I do know is that I’m in a place I can’t back out and when the birth-pains come, I won’t be alone.
“…Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
“Do not be afraid… I am your shield, your very great reward.”
Exodus 15:1b
Today I sent out the invites for a group to meet on campus and read the Bible aloud—together. I’ve been full of excuses for weeks. I’m scared to lead. I haven’t really led much of anything for about four years. I was still in high school. I broke my Facebook fast to invite 14 people, half of which I hope won’t show up because I don’t have seats for them.
I guess having a baby is kind of like starting a small group, or moving to Alaska for the summer to live and work with strangers. The pain in the process and the lack of experience scares me and I don’t know if people will show up or what it will be like or if they will stay. What I do know is that I’m in a place I can’t back out and when the birth-pains come, I won’t be alone.
“…Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
“Do not be afraid… I am your shield, your very great reward.”
Exodus 15:1b
posted by MostHighsBeloved @ 7:43 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:19 PM,
Thea said…
Oh man. I've been having dreams like that a lot lately - or dreams that I've just had a baby, but can't remember what to name it, or am trying to put it in the car but can't find a car seat anywhere.
I bet my dreams get more and more entertaining over the next few months.
I'm curious to hear how the group went...
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