Grief

I keep having these flashbacks...

Vinnie laying on the couch and talking with Rachael and me about how he wears all the white that he does...so relaxed.

Vinnie needed a hug so Rachael and I rush him and attack him with a huge one. We all fall over onto the big apolstered chair. However fun it was, it didn't quite meet the need for a hug, so I hugged him right afterwards and loved getting to do so.

Him praying for me when I felt like my life was falling apart.

Me pulling his hair back into a ponytail for him and telling him about a new church. Him responding with big-brotherly-concern and promising to come for the next week or two with me.

Oh, Lord...I miss him so much. I just want to hug him again and see him on Sunday and know that he is going to come to our small group on Tuesday and I don't want him to be gone. He was the strong one. He was the one that had beat the odds and was helping all those in pain. He was a man of prayer. He was going to go to seminary. Jesus, Holy Spirit, Father, help me and comfort me and be my strength. I know I can't be strong if he can't be strong. I need you Lord. I need you. I miss him so much. I miss life before he killed himself.

Lord, thank you for letting me get to know him. I loved him. I'm so glad that I could consider him a friend.