What to Do?

Sometimes, I wish Jesus would give us a model of what a Christian ought to look like, and a guide book. Oh, wait, I think we've got all that...for 2,000 years ago. Today seems more difficult to translate.

I've got a lot of friends that love Jesus. I know that is what really matters, but sometimes I struggle to understand where the line is between freedom in Christ and stupidity/disrespect toward God. I've got a couple of friends that love Jesus, but are cool with stuff I would consider ethically questionable. How can they do that? Does it not grate at their conscience? Accepting them as Post-Moderns causes some serious problems. Does it not make it nearly impossible to lovingly restore those in sin from sin with such loose definitions?

I don't understand the Donnie Darko watching, swearing, smoking for "better conversations," CD burning, Pat Robertson/Dr. Dobson hating, Pot-smoking in Canada, anti-Bush, elitist, critical Christians. Just as I feel about the cookie-cutter Christians, I love these people and often agree with their priorities, but can't decide what to think of them.

My Oak Tree

I've been wanting to climb a tree the past few days and decided that I wasn't going to let the lack of company keep me from doing it anymore. It was going to be amazing. I'd watch the sun go down while leaning against the trunk of the tree.

After the long walk from my car to the tree, I quickly realized that the bottom branch was reachable, but not mountable. The rope swing that was thrown over the lowest branch didn't help much either. I made a good jump and grabbed ahold of the tree with my arms, but that only resulted in a skinned wrist.

God and I spent some time talking this afternooon about the things I had hoped to accomplish by this point in my life or am confused as to why things didn't work out like I had hoped. With His lovingkindness, God seemed to tell me that it is okay to be where I am right now, even if I had all these wonderful plans that aren't coming together. I don't know if He is simply saying wait or if He is telling me to not think I can do all these amazing things. Either way, nothing happens without Him being there to give me that little extra height to get me to that first branch of the tree I've been wanting to climb for a while now.

It is hard knowing that He gets to decide if I get to do the things I hope for, but it also is easy. He is good. He loves me deeply. He isn't lacking in resources. It simply isn't about me.

It is about Him.

My life is about Him.

Philosophical Approaches to Mowing the Lawn

One of my dad's favorite sayings is "Brute-Force and Ignorance!" This is what I was told to use when opening a jar of jam or breaking a stick just below my knee or a miriad of other things little girls do from time to time. I always thought he was talking about three things (brute, force and ignorance), and honestly was ignorant about the meaning of the whole phrase. Just the same, it didn't keep me from getting the idea that it meant I was suppose to try really hard and not give up.

Well, I tried really hard and didn't give up the other day. It didn't work as well as I thought when trying to mow the lawn. I had all sorts of things against me and had no idea what was going on. Instead of my dad's saying, I should have taken my friend, Benson's saying, "Work smarter, not harder."

Friday morning was beautiful and I had volunteered to mow the backyard for the family. My stepdad was out of town and the grass was insanely long, so with his help over the phone, I got the riding mower started. I heard that it might die on me occasionally, but thought I could handle it. The thought crossed my mind that I might need to get more gas for this mower we had inherited from my great uncle, Richard, but it didn't revisit my mind when it should have.

Once the the mower started, I responded by throwing my arms into the air, jumping and letting out a "Woohoo!" of sorts before climbing on. Eager to finish the task I found my way into the seat, engaged the blades to cut the grass and got moving! As I laughed about all of the magical things I had to play with to make the thing start, (throttle, gear-shift, ignition, blade hight lever, etc), I began to understand why guys like this kind of stuff. With seemingly nothing happening except jiggling levers, turning nobs and such as that, I could make this crazy looking devise do what I wanted! Amazing!

I made it 3/4ths of the way around the yard when it first died on me. It started again without much effort and I continued my ride. Second time around, it died once and started again alright. The third time around, oh...this is where "Brute-Force and Ignorance" was my downfall... it died three times. It started up again without much effort, but died before I got into my seat! I climbed off and started yanking on that cord some more and it started! Victory was mine! But it puttered out again before I got to the seat. After all this, I decided to get my stepfather's advice as an expert in fighting with the Uncle Richard's mower. He told me to let off the throttle a little bit once the engine started should do it.

Being as tired as I was after all this yanking, my little sister and I decided that anything that would draw so much excitement or disgust needed a name. It was a unanimous vote for Billy Bob Joe Bob, after the hamster in my five year old sister's classroom. Kaelyn and I prayed that the lawn mower would start and then I jumped off the back porch yelling, "Here I come, Billy Bob Joe Bob!"

Upon reaching the lawn mower, I fought with the thing longer than I should have and an hour after this fiasco started, I opted to trade BBJB in for the push mower. My arms were spent and I couldn't pull the cord hard enough to get it going after an hour of yanking on Billy Bob Joe Bob. I was done mowing for the day, whether I liked it or not.

Yesterday, Royce, my stepdad, mowed the lawn. The mower was out of gas.

"Brute-force and ignorance" may have value, but when no amount of physical effort and determination makes a difference, I really think "Work smarter, not harder," is the way to go. I also think I'll check the gas level next time.